


Into the Dark

by suburbandad



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But no lyrics it's just based on a death cab for cutie song, Character Death, EdHei, Except not really because it is sad, M/M, Song fic, giving the people what they want, they live together, this is SHORT but i like it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suburbandad/pseuds/suburbandad
Summary: All worn down, the time for sleep is now. A one-shot of Edward and Alfons discussing mortality.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Alfons Heiderich, Edward Elric/Alfons Heiderich
Comments: 5
Kudos: 2





	Into the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Look I'm not saying you need to listen to "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie, but I am saying that is exactly what you should do since that's what this fic is based off of. I got sad listening to song and then thought, hey, maybe I can make other people be sad with me. So that's this.

The coughing was getting worse. They danced around the subject, but it couldn’t be avoided- not really. The droplets of blood were ugly stains on the fabric of their souls. The marks faded with time, but the coughing persisted. Edward knew, deep down, that Alfons was going to die. No amount of waltzing or fox-trotting could hide it from him. Edward knew that Alfons was dying, and yet he was too cowardly to admit it out loud. To admit that he would be left alone, all over again, in the mirror universe he found himself trapped in. It was the most terrifying thing he would ever have to face. His fear was selfish, and he knew that. Alfons was the one dying, not him. Alfons was the one who was going through this alone- because even though Edward was by his side, Alfons had to take time to grieve for himself as well. They had enjoyed adventures together. Though they had only known each other for a few years, it had felt like a lifetime. Edward supposed he was lucky to have found a person that could be considered his. They had been all over Germany, Romania- hell, Edward would’ve taken him anywhere if Alfons had asked.

They were lying in bed together, both staring at the ceiling, both silently contemplating mortality and the universe. The ideas of Creation, Equivalent Exchange, Reincarnation, nothingness; it all swarmed around their heads in thick clouds- the only silver lining being their hands clasped together. _If Alfons died_ , Edward thought, _what would I do? Where would he go? Where would I go?_ The answer was obvious. He would follow. He would be with Alfons until the very end, and they would go through the dark together. Would the last heartbeat be soft, or would it be sharp like a spark- the final call of humanity from within, the final prose of life? The room was black. It was so absent of light that Edward felt like he was being crushed by gravity, that he was in an inescapable black box of both existing and not. There were swirls of faint lights in his vision. They twisted and turned, created colors he had never seen and would never see again. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. All he wanted was- “Alfons?” There. Faint, but a squeeze of Edward’s hand in response. The sound of Alfons clearing his throat. “Yeah, Edward?” “Are you,” He paused. There was a lump in his throat. He couldn’t breathe. Was this how Alfons felt all of the time? “Are you scared?” It came out quieter than he wanted to. He wanted to be strong for Alfons, to be the Edward he knew and cared for. He didn’t want to be this weak, insecure Edward. “Yes and no,” Despite the coughing and the blood and the suffocating darkness, his voice was strong. “I’ve known this day has been coming for some time now. I can’t say that it hasn’t frightened the piss out of me, Ed, because it has. You never know how you feel about your mortality until you are confronted with it.” A pause, a soft cough, a sigh. “Am I scared of dying? No, not really. This pain will end, and whatever comes next will come next. I’d like to think that I could be there with you, in some form, but you know I’ve never been a religious man. I thought I’d have years to figure this out. But I have hours.” He squeezed Edward’s hand again, and Edward remembered he was supposed to breathe. “I’m scared of an existence without you, though. That my soul will be lost without yours near it, that if I’m reincarnated, I’ll never find something as good as I have here. I’m scared that you’ll lose your way, that you’ll forget why you got into rockets in the first place. I knew we would part one day, but I always assumed it would be you going back to your own world.” He chuckled. “Of course, can’t have you beat me at everything, can I?”

Edward tried to laugh, really, he did. The sound that came out instead was this choked, bleating noise that got caught halfway in his chest. “What am I supposed to do without you? I can’t just leave you alone to die. You mean too much to me, Alfons. For God’s sake, I love you. I can’t leave behind the people I love.” That was something he picked up from Alfons, throwing around God’s name. He really hated God. “You stay with me. Hold my hand as I enter the dark. Be with my body as my soul departs. You know all about souls, from your stories. It will be alright, Edward.” He coughed again, harder than before. Edward could hear him wheezing. “What was the Gate like? Was that like your Heaven and Hell?” The final weeks of Alfons’ life had led him to believe Edward’s stories about another universe- if multiple universes existed, surely there was a place for souls to go when their body expired? The only proof he had was Ed, but that was more concrete proof than other religions had for thousands of years. And if he was putting his faith in as many options as possible, to ease the idea of dying, he might as well put his faith in Edward as well. “It’s bright white. It feels like a never-ending space. It’s the doorway to God. To all of the knowledge in the universe. Beyond that, it’s still a mystery to me. Seems like no matter what universe you’re in, the afterlife is still one big mystery.” Alfons took a deep breath that rattled through the front and back of his lungs. He could feel it- the string getting pulled tight to cut, the sand in the hourglass ticking to their final grains, his soul beginning to peel from it’s human cage. He groped his free hand over and pulled the lamp light on and turned back over to Edward, his golden eyes reflecting love, worry, and despair. Alfons knew he was wishing for something to do, anything to fix this, but even Edward had admitted that not even in his world could he bring back the dead.

“Why’d you turn the light on?” Edward asked, blinking to adjust to the light. Alfons was beautiful. It was the saddest scene he had witnessed since his mother’s funeral. His blue eyes held tiredness, but also love and clarity. His breathing was heavier than normal, and his hand gripped Edward’s tighter. “I wanted to see you,” He paused, took another hard breath in. “I wanted to see you, one last time, before I turn the light off again. I want to remember your face and our adventures and the life we shared for the rest of eternity. No matter where my soul ends up, I will find you. When you are at the end, I will come back and guide you,” Alfons was interrupted by what he knew would be his final cough. “Just like you’ve guided me. I love you, Edward.” Edward’s eyes were watering, and damn it, he hadn’t wanted to cry, hadn’t wanted Alfons to see him fragile, but he felt the water pool over his eyes before he even blinked. He leaned over and placed a kiss onto Alfons’ forehead, lingering there, recounting their memories together. He saw Alfons smile as he closed his eyes. Edward reached over and turned the lamp light off. “Even in the darkness, I will be here with you.” He whispered, squeezing Alfons’ hand and feeling a squeeze back. “I will see you again, my love.” Edward heard Alfons’ breathing strangle a bit in his throat, a tightness in his body, a final pulse through the fingers interlaced with Edwards, and a sigh as Alfons breath left his lungs for the last time and his body relaxed into the bed. Edward held his hand through the darkness until sunrise, when he finally let go and began to weep.


End file.
